Black Belt Blog - Mas Shelby

Why do you train?

I began training at One With Heart in 2019 because I wanted to work out more and learn something new. The other sports I’d done were competitive team sports where the goal was to win the game and I came to class with that motivation and competitive spirit. I was gonna come to every class, I was gonna hit the hardest, I was gonna win.

And when I didn’t “win,” I got annoyed.

Why are they up to test and I’m not? Why did they get picked to demonstrate and I didn’t? 

Comparison is the thief of joy. 

My feelings toward training changed from excitement at learning something cool into resentment and disappointment when I didn’t receive the recognition I felt I’d earned. Instead of coming to class to learn, I came to class wanting to show how good I was. I wanted to be put up for every test and catch up to the higher ranked students. I felt important when I stood at the front of the line of students to bow in.

When the pandemic forced us to train online, I was annoyed that I wouldn’t get to have my white sash test in person and I wouldn’t get to show off my new rank for a bit, not realizing that lockdown would go on longer than anyone expected. A couple months later, I got laid off from my job and had to move out of my apartment. I was on a bit of a losing streak.

Trying to stay positive, I dove deeper into training and found relief in the routine and supportive community. It was also at this time that I started teaching and moved into the intermediate class.

Do you know how far being the “strongest” White Belt gets you in intermediate class? Only about as far as you fall when someone knocks you to the ground.

I realized I had let my ego, my desire to win, get in the way of being a good student and a good classmate, and that if I didn’t change something, I would probably quit.

So, I stopped comparing myself to others and instead compared myself to where I had started. Maybe I will never be able to jump as high as that person, but I can jump higher than I could before, so who cares? Maybe I will never be able to do a kip-up, but I can try. I can get stronger and faster to feel better about myself, not to feel better than others.

But the biggest change came from teaching. I learned that picking a student to demonstrate is not about saying they are the best at the drill, but to praise their effort and growth. I learned that partnering higher and lower ranked students is not about how well they are performing in class; it is about pushing the higher ranks to lead by example and pushing the lower ranks to train at a more advanced level.

Now, I train for many reasons. I train to spend time with great people. I train to get stronger and healthier. I train to learn cool new things. I train because it’s fun.

Why do you train?

-Mas Shelby