Black Belt Blog - Guru Gerry
Put Our Ego into Service
In martial arts, it is not unusual for a teacher to hold back certain techniques or standards from their students. Often this can be for safety or to create a sensible learning path. They’re not hidden but taught when students are ready to receive the knowledge.
There are, however, some who do this for less altruistic reason. Sometimes, a teacher will deliberately hide techniques because they don’t want students to be able to exceed their own talents and abilities. This basically boils down to ego.
In The Zen Way to Martial Arts, Taisen Deshimaru describes ego as “the small self; possessive and limited.”
I was thinking about this as we wrapped up our recent solstice workout. After training for three hours, students were tired and sweaty, but still ready to continue training. One student commented about feeling like they had limitless energy, and it reminded me of something we say in our art, which is that we want to put “our ego in the service of our ilmu.”
Ilmu, loosely defined, is our internal energy (think of ki in Japanese martial arts, or chi in Chinese arts). Students develop their ilmu through training and meditation. It can be cultivated as a protective energy; one that enables us to endure physical challenges, master physical techniques, and achieve spiritual harmony. We can become limitless.
Ilmu can also be abused. We can use it to inflict damage, pain, and distress if we choose. And if we spend time cultivating our ilmu, it can be devastating when we turned against perceived opponents who have less experience and discipline. This would be putting our ilmu in the service of our ego. Instead of improving ourselves and others, this destroys the other and gives us an illusion of strength. Over time, this illusion will fester. Instead of being a warrior of peace, we become an agent of chaos, leaving ignorance and fear in our wake.
Putting your ego in the service of your ilmu removes this illusion. You gain strength that you didn’t know you had; strength you can use when you (or others) need it the most. You lose the need to prove anything and gain the joy of helping others succeed.
Which brings me back to the teacher who withholds knowledge.
All teachers should feel blessed to have students who organically outgrow their tutelage, as they will become the next generation of teachers, who will then be exceeded by their own students, and so on through the years. As community members we have influence with one another, whether we know it or not. And we display that influence in every action we take. When we keep our ego in check, our ilmu helps us share our best selves with others and see just how limitless we are.
-Guru Gerry
